The Sun Coming Down on My Summer

It is the end.
That’s the only way to explain it.

The end of something beautiful.

The end of something relaxing.

The words “the end” make you sense it’s threat.

The word’s make you fear.

I don’t realize the end is so near.

It catches me off guard.

 

Life is fun; it’s complete.

Then I hear those words.

Dread fills all of my being.

The words envelope me.

I try to postpone it as much as possible.

But postponing never works.

It seems the more I postpone,

The faster it comes.

There is no way to stop it form coming.

I regret each day that I wasted.

It quietly lurks.

Waiting to catch me when I least expect it.

Then it’s there.

The end.

Giving in is my only choice.

I must go back.

I am helpless.

I am defenseless

I fall back into the routine.

The routine that had felt so good to leave behind.

The beautifulness and warmness is gone.

Replaced with cold and crowded spaces.

There is no way to escape.

I must stay strong.

The days eat at me.

Only two weeks in.

Panic fills my soul.

How can I survive the months to come?

This is torture.

It seems impossible.

Procrastination sets in.

It’s so hard to battle.

Two days is not a long enough break.

I need more time.

I need help.

I need sleep.

In past years it wasn’t so threatening.

The end didn’t scare me.

But this year was different.

I’d heard the horrors this year would bring.

Everyone of them was true.

They expect so much.

My brain holds so little.

It only wants sleep.

But there are no excuses.

No story to back me up.

It must be done.

No matter what.

But I have no choice.

I must hold strong.

I’ll count down the days.

Until the relaxing end.